We are still waiting for Cam's genetic test results to come back. This is the worst feeling in the world. I want to know sooo bad, but then again I don't. Knowing that Cam may be autisitc makes me see the little things I wasn't seeing before. The behaviors he has, the tics, the inability to express what exactly he feels.
Growing up I always told myself that if God decided to give me a special needs child I would be the luckiest mom. That he trusted me to take care of one of his special children was a gift. I still feel that way, but also see how nieve I was. It's hard. There are days when I feel so angry and cheated.
Cam relys on me for EVERYTHING! He is at a point that I am the one he wants for everything. He does not want Daddy to even touch him sometimes. This wears me out and hurts Matt's feelings. If I were to leave while Cam is awake he will scream until I return.
I love my little boy. Every time he wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes I'm reminded how special he is. He is so very smart. He recognises letters. Can do puzzles like no one's business. I love my boy and hope that I can give him every opportunity that he deserves.
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