We are still waiting for Cam's genetic test results to come back. This is the worst feeling in the world. I want to know sooo bad, but then again I don't. Knowing that Cam may be autisitc makes me see the little things I wasn't seeing before. The behaviors he has, the tics, the inability to express what exactly he feels.
Growing up I always told myself that if God decided to give me a special needs child I would be the luckiest mom. That he trusted me to take care of one of his special children was a gift. I still feel that way, but also see how nieve I was. It's hard. There are days when I feel so angry and cheated.
Cam relys on me for EVERYTHING! He is at a point that I am the one he wants for everything. He does not want Daddy to even touch him sometimes. This wears me out and hurts Matt's feelings. If I were to leave while Cam is awake he will scream until I return.
I love my little boy. Every time he wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes I'm reminded how special he is. He is so very smart. He recognises letters. Can do puzzles like no one's business. I love my boy and hope that I can give him every opportunity that he deserves.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
A Hard Blow
I have felt for a long time that there had to be something bigger going on with my son. I just knew that it wasn't just random coincidences. After fighting for what I feel, I got my answer today.
My son is Autistic.
I took Cam to the Genetocist today. When we got there he had a full evaluation with an occupational therapist to test his cognitive, fine, and gross motor skills. That went well. He tested above average in cognitive ability, slightly above average in fine motor, but below average in gross motor. She and I discussed ways to help him in those areas then went back to our room to wait for Dr. Escobar.
The doctor came in and asked me why I was here. I voiced my concerns and how I've been brushed aside when I voiced my concerns to others (excluding our amazing ped). He commented that moms know when there is something going on. He agreed that more docs need to listen to what we are saying. He then did a physical exam and told me what he was seeing.
Aside from the obvious developmental issues, he noticed Hypotonia, loose joints, short fingers, and a larger head in relation to his face size. All physical markers of autism.
He is testing him for a few more genetic disorders, but said he felt comfortable telling me he has autism. I was relieved and terrified at the same time. I'm sad for the dreams I had for him, but happy that we can now move forward and know how better to assist him.
We have a long road ahead of us.
To my husband if you are reading this,
I know you don't want everyone to know, but this is how I cope. I hope that you will be patient with me as I find my way to being a better mother and advocate to our Miracle Babies.
My son is Autistic.
I took Cam to the Genetocist today. When we got there he had a full evaluation with an occupational therapist to test his cognitive, fine, and gross motor skills. That went well. He tested above average in cognitive ability, slightly above average in fine motor, but below average in gross motor. She and I discussed ways to help him in those areas then went back to our room to wait for Dr. Escobar.
The doctor came in and asked me why I was here. I voiced my concerns and how I've been brushed aside when I voiced my concerns to others (excluding our amazing ped). He commented that moms know when there is something going on. He agreed that more docs need to listen to what we are saying. He then did a physical exam and told me what he was seeing.
Aside from the obvious developmental issues, he noticed Hypotonia, loose joints, short fingers, and a larger head in relation to his face size. All physical markers of autism.
He is testing him for a few more genetic disorders, but said he felt comfortable telling me he has autism. I was relieved and terrified at the same time. I'm sad for the dreams I had for him, but happy that we can now move forward and know how better to assist him.
We have a long road ahead of us.
To my husband if you are reading this,
I know you don't want everyone to know, but this is how I cope. I hope that you will be patient with me as I find my way to being a better mother and advocate to our Miracle Babies.
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